THREE THOUGHTS / BEING REALISTIC

  I recently researched conflict; why it happens and what to do to resolve it.  While working on figuring out some of my own 'whys' when it came to hurt, pain and resentment in some of my own personal conflicts, a reoccurring theme became very, very evident: Expectations.

  We all have expectations and we all even have unreasonable expectations at times.  Where healthy expectations inspire us, drive us and can result in ultimate nourishment and happiness, unrealistic expectations can leave us constantly disappointed, frustrated, confused and empty.  I found that many of my internal conflicts with myself or that I felt for/with those close to me all were coming back to unrealistic standards I was holding.

  Well, today's 'Three Thoughts' really helped me adjust my perspective, analyze what I'm giving and what I likewise need in return from my relationships, as well as how to move forward with those that are feeling problematic.

  We don't always need to make a complete removal of a negative or unfulfilling relationship, instead, we can communicate, set new boundaries, allow the grace of time and reassess accordingly (previously something I never did; I was quick to just cut out what wasn't working.)  Just because something has become toxic, doesn't mean it has to stay toxic.

1.  On honest evaluations and giving permission to let go of something that's not changing.

2.  Admission: I'm working on not being a control freak.  Turns out being obsessive about control goes hand in hand with expectations and they fall under the same umbrella word: Perfection.  Ah yes, perfectionism, where one is overly hard on themselves and others.  The key to recovery?  Set. Reasonable. Standards.

3.  Relationship detox.  It's a thing.